Don't Do This to Yourself!

Women, women, women, don't do this to yourself, your bodies. Don't put off taking care of things that bother your bodies until finish the last chore in the house. Don't put everybody else's needs before your needs, at least the medical ones. That pain in the tummy that hurts you, that out of the cycle blood clots that surprised you, that lump in the breast which bothers you - don't ignore any of these. These are symptoms that your body gives to tell you that things are not fine. Your body deserves proper medical care at the right time and if you don't do it, nobody else will!

Juggling with the numerous roles of a career woman, wife, mother, care giver, women tend to ignore or at least procrastinate taking care of their own health issues until the last possible moment. This is more so if the affected parts are female body parts like breast, uterus, ovaries etc. Even educated women associate a certain sense of shame regarding these parts and avoid discussing these outside close female family members even for health issues. All kinds of home remedies are tried and going to a doctor is considered only in case of an emergency. In the case of cancer, delay means death. These kinds of attitudes and social systems cause a lot of delay before the patient gets medical attention and by then it would be too late.

In the case of women, today many simple, non-invasive screening tests like mammogram, pap smear test, etc for different types of cancer are available. These screening tests allow us to detect cancer in its very early stages and get appropriate treatment. In some western countries, doctors advise women to take these screen tests as a part of their routine medical checkups and that helps in detecting, treating and curing various cancers. These tests are available here and are relatively affordable too and it is time we also started making use of these. Early detection is a very important step towards success in the treatment of cancer and hence such tests become all the more important. 

Resolve today to take a better care of your bodies and not to delay seeking medical help in case need arises. 

What We Do to Our Children

      It was a late afternoon. I was a taking a longer but peaceful route home from the department. It was a cloudy but pleasant day. The the four legged denizens were all taking advantage of the lower temperature and were all around the place. As I passed the Kendriya Vidyalaya, I could see kids in small groups on their way back from school.
      A little boy was walking little ahead of me, talking to his friends, happy as any kid would be after the school hours. And then he saw a small puppy walking towards them, wagging his tails. His friends weren't so sure of what to do and they kept their distance. Our hero, the little boy was so happy to see the puppy that he bent down to pat its head and generally to pet the puppy for a while. The puppy started moving towards its mother and the boy followed. The older was bit tensed at first but later relaxed and the boy began to pet both the puppy and its mother, all stray dogs. This friends gathered around them and it was a happy scene.
      And then the boy's mother who was walking a little ahead turned back and saw the boy with the dogs. She started shouting and screaming at the top of her voice asking the boy to leave the dogs. The boy was a bit reluctant and slow it getting. I was so shocked to see what happened next. The lady picked up a stick and broke it into pieces and stared throwing them - at the dogs and also at the boy! And then she dragged the boy away from the scene.
      These are the kind of messages that we give our children. Whatever bit of kindness and sweetness they have inside them we make sure are drained out by the time they grow up. This little boy would get two lessons from this small incident and at his age such impressions will last. First he'll remember that any random act of kindness towards another living being is not generally appreciated. Second he'll learn that violence and cruelty - whether against humans or animals - is acceptable.
     This is what we do to the young children around us. And then we complain these days young people don't have love and affection, the rate of violence is increasing, they are uncaring, and what not. They are learning for what we show them!

On Reading "Writing Octopus"

One evening Veena and I had an outing and came back to the room. We were very happy. We had just got a copy of K. Srilata's latest collection of poems Writing Octopus. We started reading the poems aloud. We liked them. There was small talk, poems, love, and laughter. It was beautiful. There were really nice, sweet, fun filled poems. There is a poem about the bright blue bird that flew into her house and,

"When it flies out, leaves behind

its bright blue.

The blue hops down

Becomes first one word,

and then, another,

till, finally, it assumes the face of a poem. "

Then we got to the poem "Not in the Picture". I had read it before and told her so far that was my favourite in the collection. Then she started reading it aloud. The poem ends,

"this desire,

for certain photographs. If you are not watchful,

it can stab you through the heart."

Once the poem was over, there was total silence. No more laughter, no more words. We just sat looking at each other for some time. 

These moments are what we get from gifted writers and such moments are what making reading poetry a rewarding experience. It is all the more rewarding, if you have the company of someone who loves poetry as much as you do.

Writing Octopus is a wonderful collection of poetry. This is one enjoyable, readable (read to yourself when you are alone, read out aloud when you are on a high, read to each other when you are in good company kind of readable) collection of poems that I have come across recently. Reading this one is pure joy. It has that power to give you moments to remember. The blue bird that dropped its blue, the baby dolphin in the blueness of the ocean, the oysters stolen from the sea and thrown towards the sky, photographs old and new, and of course the octopus will remain with us long after we have finished reading the collection.

Goa Diaries 2 Old Goa

This time we are a large group and thanks to Shyam we have a good bus, packed lunches, and a planned route. We started at 9 in the morning and the first stop was the Basilica of Bom Jesus. This is the magnificent Portuguese church where the relic of the saint Franxis Xavier is kept. The group is let off to explore the Bom Jesus Church, the museum near by, the Cajetan church, and the viceroy's arc. People form groups and get into activities according to their tastes and inclinations. Some bought candles and went inside the churches, some decided to attend the masses, some went on a shopping spree buying junk jewelry, hats etc, Some found a shop that sells chilled beer and camped there en masse, some others like yours truly (lacking such fixed direction in life) just loafed around watching the fun and taking pictures.

Relic of St. Francis Xavier

Cajetan Church

We weren't done with divinity for the day yet. The next stop was Mangesha Temple. Most of us did a quick round of the temple and found time for some quick shopping. If you can bargain well, you can get some good deals from the shops around the temple, especially if you want souvenirs for friends and relatives.

Then we stopped for lunch, again near a wine shop. We made most of the opportunity, combining our biryanis with beers and some really great cocktails. It was at this place that someone from the group discovered the wonders of coconut and rum and generously carried some back to the guest house.

The last and the best stop of the day was Colva beach. If you want to visit Goa on a peaceful, off season trip and have plans to get into the water and have fun, the place to go is Colva beach. The beach is comparatively clean, less crowded, and beautiful. The way the waves come in and cover you and the recede the way it had come has to be experienced. It was in a shack near the beach that we discovered this really great cocktail of Coconut feni, chocolate liqueur, and pepsi. Sunset at Colva and it was stumps on day 1 of the group tour.

Setting Sun, Colva beach

Goa Diaries 1 - Calangute

It is our first day in Goa and it is a Sunday! So off we went to Panaji, the nearest city. After a bit of asking around, figured out that Calangute is a popular beach and we can get a direct bus there. So we decided to start our exploring Goa mission with Calangute. The bus went through a route that reminded my friend of Aleppey and me of Kozhikode.

As the number of restaurant cum bars, shops selling beach wear and bright necklaces and bangles, and wine shops along the road side started increasing, we realised we were nearing the beach. The bus dropped us quite near the beach. One look at the crowd, the bright clothes, shorts and hats, beer bottles and cans in hands, there is no mistaking that you are in Goa.

It was around 12 and both of us were pretty hungry. We followed the crowd and got into this nice looking restaurant and were bowled by the ambiance, the view of the sea from the window.  We ordered cashew feni the first thing. The waiter there told us it goes well with something that has lime and we combined it with limca. It had a kind of hard taste. We combined that with steak, rice, fruits etc. Later we found out that the place is called Souza Lobo and is quite famous.

After the lunch, we ventured out into the beach and had fun watching the crowd, the antics of semi clad people and the violent sea of Calangute. Goa in this season is not ideal for bathing or getting into the water and the coast guard was doing a good job of warning people. We did not venture far into the water; stayed on the safety of the shores and watched the fun.

View from the window

Then we wandered in and out of the various shops selling stuff ranging from liquor to eatables to slippers, clothes and jewelry. There are nice souvenir pieces and quite nice looking German silver jewelry. Since we were going to be in Goa for some time and we had ample time left for shopping we did not buy much.

Then back to catch the bus to Panaji and after some beautiful view of Mandovi along the way, we are in Panaji. From Panaji we take another bus to Goa University. More of sightseeing along the way in terms of the Mandovi, Miramar beach etc and we are back in university guest house. We hit bed that day, two tired but happy people, eagerly looking forward to more of Goa experience.

Note for my Father

What would a father do if his grown up daughter calls him and starts crying/shouting/screaming? Say during the day or in the middle of the night. How many fathers would be able to put their own anxieties and curiosity to the back seat and say things would be fine, knowing well very that the world we live in is not exactly a wonderful place? Especially if the daughter in question has a proven track record of an uncanny ability to land in extremely messy situations? That too when the first insticnt is to enter the stage and do all you can do to protect your daughter. Or at least give the daughter a good long lecture on life? Well my father is a champion of tough situations!
No matter how grown up you are, for a father you are still his little girl. (Mine calls me so even now!) As I said the first insticnt of any father would be to try and get all the information and do everything possible to help his daughter out. It takes a whole lot of effort to understand a daughter's need for privacy and still give that all important support. It is not easy understanding the struggles of somebody living in a world that is so different from the one that you are comfortable with.
If I am to take a stock of all good things that have happened to me so far in my life, on top of the list would be the fact that I have wonderful parents. The kind of support that they have given me in times of both war and peace have been phenomenal.
I am thankful for the confidence that you have shown in me time and again. For all our quarrels, disagreements, and ego clashes, I love you, I love you, I love you.

On Playing Badminton

I'm not a games or athletics kind of person. My interest in sports is limited to live telecasts of cricket and tennis matches. (This can be cultivated as a hobby if you have the right company. I was lucky enough to get some nice people around wherever I go - Keerthi in Palakkad, Meera and Meenu at HCU) Well, I always read my newspaper backwards, that is starting from the sports page. The logic is in case I don't get time to read it completely I will miss only the political dramas and not the interesting stuff. 

The only game that I have shown any kind of interest outside television is badminton. During school days, when our school championship dates are drawn, we used to clean the vacant lot in our colony. There used to be this small plot that was just enough for a badminton court. A net was tied, the court was marked, and the matches began. The carnival begins as soon as the classes are over and continues till its too dark to make out the shuttlecock. At a set of sweating stinking school kids get back home, tired but happy. Once the championship at school ends, the net is pulled down, the court forgotten and the kids pulled down into an endless chain of class tests, quizzes, midterm tests, and term exams.

After school, I have been roaming around - college hostels, PGs, apartments - I've always been on the move. I haven't had the kind of friends, time, or space for any kind of games. 

Last week one day I was in my hostel room, reading something, when a girl from the next room came asked me if I would like to play badminton with her. Now we are not close or anything. When we happen to meet we do chat casually, asking the kind of stupid questions that we know are stupid, but ask anyway.  So that's the kind of friendship that I share with her. Anyway I decide to play and go down with her. We start playing.

It felt good; the feel of a playing, running around. I generally find it difficult to run or engage in any kind of activity that puts strain on me due to my asthma. But playing badminton did not make feel any kind of breathing trouble. In spite of the fact that I was sweating and taking a bit of strain, I felt fine, perfectly healthy. I was happy too.

Then we started talking – about classes, courses that we have signed up, families, home town, food in the mess and a lot of other things. During that half an hour we bonded like we haven’t done in last two months!

“Do you have a boy friend?”

“Yes. You?”

“No.”

“Why?”

“I didn’t find anyone nice.”

“You will find someone soon.”

We wouldn’t have had such a personal conversation though we live in adjacent rooms if weren’t playing together that day. It was definitely the beginning of a new friendship.

 Half an hour of badminton left me tired, sweaty, happy and feeling much better about life in general. It also gave me a new friend. All you need to make life seem better are simple things like this.