Platinum Days of Love

All these platinum day of love ads that come in magazines remind me of Sita; of her ring of love. She was colleague. Sita somehow did not seem to fit into the corporate office and the crowd that surrounded her. She came to office dressed in silk sarees and jewellery that reflected her ancient royal family. However, her sweet nature did not have even a small trace of either corporate stiffness or royal arrogance. She was sweet and friendly, often finding time to chat with everyone on the floor. She knew almost everyone in the office, their families and even their pets! At times, the more sophisticated ones around us made fun of her friendly nature.

She was quite friendly with me. One day she came to my cubicle for a casual chat. We were discussing that one topic of perennial interest to Malayali women - gold jewellery. She had a wonderful collection and always gave us tips on buying jewellery. For some reason, I noticed the chain that she was wearing and casually remarked that it did not resemble the traditional 'thali' or mangalsuthr. Then she told me, "I don't consider that important anymore and I don't wear one. I have reached a stage in life where I have to stop doing things to please people. I do not consider marriage the most important thing in my life right now. I have realised the futility of such symbolic stuff. After an early marriage and bringing up children and all that, I've had my share playing the home maker. Now, my career, my independence, and the work that I do are all as important to me as my family."

And then she showed me something wonderful. A ring - a heart set in gold. "Look at this. I made this ring few years back. I melted down two separate rings - one gifted by my grandmother and other by my mother. I melted those down and made this one. I wear this all the time, in memory of the two most remarkable women who have made me what I am today. Wearing this gives me strength. As a woman, this means a lot to me. They have helped me grow. They have helped me to think, to dream, and to be independent. Wearing this means a lot to me."

To say I was moved by her words would be an understatement. I thought it was beautiful. It is a wonderful thing, this sense of a whole line of women, who have borne you, fed you, brought you up, and empowered you. 

Love is No Longer Criminal!!!

These days I've started believing that our judiciary is the best thing that has happened to the Indian Democracy. Our judges have time and again proved through various rulings that we are actually in 2010 and not stuck in 1947. At first it was Delhi High Courts repeal of the objectionable clauses of section 377. Now it is the Supreme Court ruling on the Kushboo case. This verdict is a huge boost to all of us who believe in the freedom of thought and expression. But more than the verdict, what interests me are the observations made by the court in this regard. India is waking up to changing values and new moral codes of the 21st century.

The bench has made some truly progressive and modern remarks on Live-in relationships. Here are couple of observations made by the court.
"When two adult people want to live together what is the offense. Does it amount to an offense? Living together is not an offense. It cannot be an offense."
"Please tell us what is the offense and under which section. Living together is a right to life,"
The court also noted that there was no law which prohibits live-in relationship or pre-marital sex.

This is truly historic for country whose people are too steeped in pseudo-moral codes,hypocrisy and age old and meaningless customs. In this country, we still have neighborhoods that would take up arms to "discipline" people who choose to live their life differently. we live in times when pre-marital sex in becoming a part of life for most of the youth but then again, these are the times when hymenoplasty is becoming more and more in demand. Well, we are still obsessed with the idea of virgin brides and we can not tolerate comments like the one made by Khusboo.
It is in this kind of an India that our Supreme Court makes this radical judgment. They even cited the example of Krishna and Radha - so much culture and tradition fanatics.

It is not as if the Indian society is eager and waiting for this kind of a remark. Protests and criticisms have come up from various quarters on the society. Individuals, groups and political parties have come up with their protests and reservations on the remarks made by the court. And I'm sure it will take ages for the general society to come to terms with the reality. For most people, pre-marital sex or live in relationships is something done by 'those' people, the kind of people that they can frown upon. Daughters from nice families do not indulge in these kinds of stuff, they believe.

It is high time we started facing the new reality. People have started questioning the once invincible institutions of family and marriage. A new moral code is being formed at least in the cities and I believe that this new morality has come to stay. Let's applaud the court for upholding the values of democracy and more importantly for knowing the pulse of the youth. Let's hope this need for respecting the other person's privacy, this need for looking at our friends, bothers, sisters and daughters and individuals, this need for a new moral code, this need for acceptance of change will spread to all parts of our society.